The Wisdom Project

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Bruce, age undisclosed

What are the top 1-3 things you would like to pass on to others? How did you learn this?

  1. The more I learn, the more I realize, exponentially, how much I do not know, how much more there is to learn. Knowing and accepting this lends tremendous perspective, making it easier to respect the ideas and opinions of others—or at least to listen—without feeling “Less than” or like my ego is threatened. It also offers the opportunity to learn more and to build relationships with “the other.”
  2. The opposite of love is not hate. It is fear—of the different, of the unknown, of rejection, of suffering. Take your pick. FEAR. So I try to recognize and anticipate my fears, hoping to avoid gating my heart and my mind. Living without fear, when I am able, enriches my life wondrously and allows the weaving of amazingly rich colors, patterns, and textures into the tapestry that is my life. Compassion, kindness, inclusivity, justice—these are love/fearlessness in action.
  3. Take joy in life’s simple pleasures. They are the best. Comfortable, happy hearth; family; a good meal and a good drink; clean, running (cold and hot) water piped into my home; laughter; beauty (moisture on a spiderweb glistening in the sunshine; music; a good story; community; creativity; service; my dog. You get the picture.

How have I learned this? I guess by years of seeing what works in lives and what hasn’t. By osmosis. By the spoken word and role-modeling of others. Some direct teaching. Through what I have read and continue to read.

You’ve seen a lot of significant events and changes over the course of your life. What wisdom can you share from your observations and experiences of the world in your lifetime so far?

Not to be trite, but one of the greatest constants in life is change. I am not in control. Sure, I take responsibility to the extent I am able for my life and commitments. But, ultimately, I am finite. So I like the idea of responsibility without anxiety. Mind you, this is a goal, not my permanent state. Yet keeping this mind does lend perspective and freedom without denying my agency, excusing irresponsibility, or allowing me to live my life like an ostrich. And it definitely helps with the blood pressure.

What obstacles and disappointments have you faced that you were able to put into perspective, turn into a positive, and/or contribute to in a way that made things better? What did you learn from these experiences that you can share with those who did not have those same experiences?

I am not dodging question 3 but would like to answer it in my own way. For a long time I have tried to use my ‘actual/relative’ approach when faced with obstacles and disappointments: “Actually, this (whatever this might have been—emotional, physical, professional, etc.) is really hard, difficult, frustrating, angering, discouraging, painful, unfair—pick your descriptor. BUT, relatively, I have so much for which to be grateful.” Maintaining this mindset, without denying any of the concomitant thoughts and feelings, is an ongoing goal. This perspective, however, allows one to deal honestly with the issues and eventually move on.

Archbishop Desmond Tutu and the Dali Lama have co-written THE BOOK OF JOY. The eight pillars of joy are divided in half. The four related to conditions of the mind are the following: humility, acceptance, perspective, and a sense of humor. The four related to conditions of the heart are these: forgiveness, compassion, generosity, and gratitude. These men of different religious faiths delve into these pillars (no looking through rose-colored glasses here) and then offer a variety of practices to further the incorporation of these pillars into our lives.

I read the book a year or two ago, loved it, learned from it, and shelved it. Till last night, actually. I realized I’d gotten too busy and needed to reexamine the practical wisdom contained in both the writing and in the practices.

I believe this is part of Wisdom. Returning to Source, seeking wisdom out. It is there to be had if it is valued and sought after. And, interestingly, true Wisdom seems often to be rather counter-cultural—whether offered via holy writ, poetry, song, the writers of true seekers, or that which often comes from “the mouths of babes”, i.e. from the most unlikely places, if we have eyes to see and ears to hear.