During the first week of my extended summer break, my husband was genuinely afraid to be in the same room with me. Not because of marital strife, but because I had swapped out work projects for home projects with equal intensity.
With no calendar full of meetings to conquer, I became an unstoppable force of organization and productivity. Closets were cleaned. Plants were rearranged. Cabinets were alphabetized (don’t judge). And every so often, I’d pause, look up from my whirlwind of efficiency, and ask him with laser focus: “Now what?” He usually left the room.
But here’s the thing – as a productivity and performance consultant, the hypocrisy was not lost on me. It was like going on a juice cleanse and sneaking Fritos in the laundry room. I know the long-term cost of “always on” and I know myself well enough to know that I needed to confront that habit early.
Coffee, Just Coffee
It didn’t take long before something shifted, and I let myself linger over morning coffee.
Typically, mornings are about “getting ready” – getting ready for work, preparing for meetings, getting set for the day ahead. But one morning, I didn’t rush to get ready for anything. I simply sat on my front porch, watching the sun glint through the trees, savoring my coffee alone.
Not coffee and the news.
Not coffee and email.
Not coffee and a quick walk before the heat kicks in.
Just coffee. And maybe another cup. With no agenda.
And in that lingering, my nervous system began to release its iron grip on urgency. The constant hum of “What needs to be done next?” started to quiet down.
What I Discovered in Lingering
Remembering the joy in simple things. Watching the light change as the sun came up, watering plants one by one, nursing them into blooms, even watching my husband nod off into a nap and just sitting there in peace while he snoozed. This is what true romance looks like after 30 years of marriage: one of you sleeping, the other guarding the snacks.
Reconnection. Conversations that strolled and meandered instead of racing to completion. Moments of spontaneity – doing something simply because we felt like it.
Visiting. Sitting with friends or family with nothing urgent to do, no place to go. Maybe a guitar, ukulele, or harmonica appears, and the moment unfolds naturally. No agenda. Just being together.
Presence. Instead of life as a series of tasks, I experienced life as a flow of moments. And in those moments, depth and meaning emerged without effort.
What Lingering Taught Me About Leadership (and Life)
Lingering may sound indulgent. But in truth, it’s a discipline. It requires noticing when “doing” has become a reflex rather than a necessity – and choosing to stop doing so damn much.
I know how to get things done, and I’m proud of that. But what I’ve learned is that our deepest effectiveness doesn’t come from constant action. It comes from knowing when to pause.
And those pauses are not empty. They are fertile. When we allow ourselves to linger – to sit in the space between one task and the next – we create room for creativity, insight, and intuition to emerge. Ideas that can’t be forced often show up in the stillness. Solutions that hide in the rush of doing reveal themselves when we slow down long enough to listen.
The pause isn’t wasted time. It’s the birthplace of innovation, perspective, and renewal. The point isn’t to squeeze more in. It’s about accepting the limits of time and choosing what matters most.
Lingering is one way to practice that. It’s how we reclaim presence, joy, and connection in a world addicted to urgency.
An Invitation
This week, notice when you jump to doing as a reflex. Catch yourself when you say, “Now what?” and resist the urge to fill the pause with another action.
Instead, linger. Over coffee. Over a sunset. Over a glass of wine or a cup of tea. Over a book. Over a conversation. Over a song with friends. Over listening to a story you’ve heard a thousand times.
Cautionary note: Lingering may result in unplanned naps, sudden bursts of creativity, fewer people running from the room when you ask, “Now what?”, and the radical discovery that the laundry does not, in fact, fold itself while you sit with your coffee
The real surprise? You may discover that lingering isn’t wasted time at all. It’s where life actually happens, and what if we just stayed right here a little longer?
Author:
Anne McGhee-Stinson, InteraWorks Managing Partner
About InteraWorks
InteraWorks is a global learning company on a mission to elevate the human experience at work. Specializing in professional development and performance enablement, we offer top-rated learning programs based on four defined conditions that must exist for individuals, teams including Effective Edge, Best Year Yet, and the Essentials series. Our integrated learning framework and online tools generate immediate and sustainable breakthroughs in performance. Through decades of working at all levels in enterprise companies across many industries, we’ve built a reputation for helping people and organizations harness their focus, mindset, talent, and energy to produce results that matter most.
We’ve defined four conditions that must exist for an individual, team, or organization to be effective within the arena of performance and development; Accountability, Focus, Alignment, and Integrity. We’ll continue to explore these and more in our blog and look forward to your engagement and interaction with us. Stay tuned as we engage the edges.